A Startling Discovery Featuring Blue Undese
by RichardCranium
Summary: Alright. Now I’ve done it. I wrote this when I was constipated at 2 in the morning. It’s basically why Ling Xiaoyu doesn’t do the handstand pose in her school uniform. LOL! (_!_). Please read and review,
1. A shocking discovery featuring blue unde...

A shocking discovery featuring blue undese  
  
Alright. Now I've done it. I wrote this when I was constipated at 2 in the morning. It's basically why Ling Xiaoyu doesn't do the handstand pose in her school uniform. LOL! (_!_). Please read and review, but don't flame me, as this is my first story. It may seem like a fighting story at first, but there's a twist at the end. Oh and I am Hwoarang, the future author, not the fighter. And I am sorry if I insult the characters too. I like all of them, except Lee, Violet, Combot, and anything that has Jack in it.  
  
Disclaimer: Hwoarang: I hate saying these things but It's national government crap to say it or else your breaking the Law.  
  
Forest Law: Yes?  
  
Hwoarang: Who the heck are you?  
  
Forest Law: It's me. I participated in The King of Iron Fist Tournament 3.  
  
Hwoarang: YOU'RE A FRAUD! Marshall Law is the only Law I know.  
  
Forest Law: No I'm not!  
  
Hwoarang: Oh yeah, I do remember you! You're the guy who has ants in his pants! That's why you jump around in your fighting stance! Oh, plus you look retarded and sound like a chicken with it's head cut off and goes around screaming WA-DOO!  
  
Forest Law: I am going to KILL YOU!  
  
Hwoarang: Uh Oh! Well I better skidaddle! I'll leave you with the story!  
  
Forest Law: No, just wait! I want the readers to hear me destroy you!  
  
** While Forest Law is babbling on Hwoarang runs like the wind! **  
  
Forest Law: I do not do that stuff. Well, I'll leave you guys with the story. See ya!  
  
P.S. Hwoarang doesn't own Tekken. Namco does! :'(  
  
Chapter 1: A shocking discovery featuring blue undese  
  
Ling Xiaoyu turned to face the mirror. She had 3 choices of outfits. Julia, her roommate, helped her choose her outfits in her past fights. "You look gay in that red dress with the yellow ribbon, but you look best in your school uniform", she would say. Her and Julia would see which of their winning poses were better.  
  
She hadn't yet worn the school uniform yet, so she decided to do so today. She looked down at her timetable. She would be having a match with a person called Nina Williams. Ling had heard she had been in the first two Tekken tournaments. She hoped she wouldn't be too hard. She looked down at her watch. "WOAH! @#$% I need to be down there in 15 minutes," she exclaimed.  
  
"Ok. See ya!" Julia said. "I'll be watching from the stands!"  
  
Ling turned to face her opponent. She did her starting taunt and started off with a strong roundhouse kick from her left leg. Nina fell onto the ground. Ling sweep-kicked her again. Nina got up and did two strong kicks to ling with her left foot then a powerful one with her right. Ling was shaken but not stirred. She then used her most powerful move, the Storming Flower. It hit Nina between the eyes, but also hurt Ling from the force of the impact. "K.O," the announcer commentated. "LING XIAOYU WINS!" It was time for her pose. First, she balanced herself on her hands, then did the splits, then tilted herself forward and shook her head to one side. Ling had expected applause, but the audience was laughing at her.  
  
"WHAT?!?" she said.  
  
10 minutes later, Ling felt a hand grip on her shoulder. "Come on, Ling! Let's get out of here!" It was Julia. She left the arena in total confusion. "Hey! What do you think you were doing back there?" Julia asked her, once they had gotten back to their room.  
  
"I was doing my pose!" Ling answered. Julia shook her head. She inserted a videotape into their VCR. It showed her match with Nina. "Yeah, did I cheat or something?" she asked.  
  
"No. Just wait." Julia said. She fast-forwarded it until it came to Ling's pose. On the TV it showed her doing her handstand pose. Ling gasped.  
  
"PAUSE IT!" she yelled. Julia pressed the pause button on the remote. There, for the world to see, were her blue undese showing up on the screen.  
  
Hwoarang: Well that's the end of the first chapter. Poor, Poor Ling. And Poor, Poor me too because Forest Law is going to kill me. Oh, while you guys were reading that stuff I went to google.com and searched "What's up Forest Law's ass?" it showed his medical records and I looked at it and it showed he had a turkey up his bum! That's why he always sounds like a chicken with it's head cut off. Well, now just scroll down the page until you see a button that looks like and click it to go to the next chapter. Or you could just wait around here and see if Forest Law comes around, but really, it would really just be a waste of time. 


	2. Bra sizes and pork bones

Hwoarang: Well, it looks like I'm free from Forest Law's fat ass with a turkey up it.  
  
Forest Law: I heard that!  
  
Hwoarang: L-L-L-L-LAW? YOU'RE BACK? I-I HONESTLY DIDN'T MEAN IT! Where were you, anyways?  
  
Forest Law: I was on the toilet, doing a monster loaf! Now you die!  
  
Hwoarang: A MONSTER LOAF? A MONSTER LOAF? WHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Forest Law: This is REALLY gettin' me down!  
  
Hwoarang: Well I'm the author and I can do whatever I want!  
  
Forest Law: You can't if you're dead!  
  
Hwoarang: No! HELP!  
  
Forest Law: While I kill him, you guys read the rest of the story! WHY YOU LITTLE! KHHK! KHHK! KHHK!  
  
Hwoarang: No! Stop strangling me! NO!  
  
  
  
Chapter 2:Bra Sizes and Pork Bones  
  
The next day was absolute hell for Ling. "Yo, Chine Girl!" Tiger would say. "Chine Girl, are you going to wear black undese with pink polka dots today?"  
  
"Fuck up. You won't be laughing soon," she argued back. She continued to argue with Tiger and some other fighters for four and a half hours. Finally she sat down to eat her cold pork chops. She finished her's very fast because she was starving. She had got some for Julia too, but Julia hadn't arrived yet. "Weird..It's 10:00 now. Julia should have been here by now. She's usually here at 8:15. I was arguing for four hours though. Oh well.I have two choices..Go and find Julia or eat her pork chops." "Eat the chops.Eat the chops," her brain told her. "Well.we can't let them go to waste, now can we?" she told herself, scarfing down Julia's pork chops.  
  
At 10:15 she had finished all of both her and Julia's pork chops. Where was she? "Yo, Chine Girl! I bet you wanna show us your size A teacups, eh? If ya ever want to know why da bra sizes are defined into A, B, C, D, E, F, I'll tell ya now! Size A= Almost boobs- Dat's you! Size B= Barely there- Dat's Eddy! He's got bosoms! Size C= Can do- Dat's da average woman! Size D= Damn good- Dat's Britney Spears! Size E= Enormous- Dis iz Anna Williams! Size F= Fake- Dat's Ganyru! He's a sumo!  
  
A/N: For those of you who don't know who Ganyru is, he was in Tekken 2. He is FAT! To see how fat he is, go to www.tekkenzaibatsu.com and select Tekken Tag Tournament, then select character profiles and click on Ganyru.  
  
"You shut your @#$%^&* mouth or I'll shove these pork bones up your @$$!" Xiaoyu yelled.  
  
"How dare you say I have bosoms!" yelled Eddy.  
  
"Ling Xiaoyu has a chubby bum!" Tiger sang.  
  
*Right about now you should hear a nasty crunching noise and a loud scream coming from Tiger indicating that Ling had succeeded in doing what she had threatened. *  
  
"YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!MMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY BBBBBBBUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Tiger yelled.  
  
"Oh yuck." Eddy began.  
  
"He farted on my hand just as I was shoving them up there." Ling began to complain.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Everyone yelled.  
  
"You'll see," she said to everyone. "I'll win again and trick you with my pose! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!  
  
And with that Ling ran off.  
  
Ling knew something was wrong. Julia was never late for breakfast. She knocked on the door. There was no reply. She opened it and carefully tiptoed into the apartment. Julia would most likely be in her room. She kicked the door open. There was no one there. "DAMN! Don't play hide and seek Julia!" she yelled. She had had enough today. The teasing and the taunting and no friends on her side and breakfast, plus having to shove pork bones up Tiger's ass.she felt like crying. She ran into her room. "OH SHIT!" she yelled.  
  
"GET OUT!" Julia yelled.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Hwoarang said. Hwoarang and Julia were in Ling's bed, doing stuff that I shall say in the least complicated way possible- making babies.  
  
"What are you two doing in my room?" she asked.  
  
"It's pretty obvious, you Chinese piece of shit!" Julia said. Ling felt dizzy. Hwoarang and Julia were together.she wouldn't mind that.they chose each other.but in her room?  
  
"Why my room? Why not yours?" she wailed.  
  
"Let us change!"  
  
"NO! TELL ME!" she wailed again.  
  
"GET HER!" Hwoarang tied a blanket around his waist and preformed his Dynamite Heel move on her.  
  
"Ow!" she protested.  
  
"Oi, Julia! Should we tie her up? If she tells anyone I'd hate to think what would happen."  
  
"Na, she's my friend. Let's just tell her to swear not to tell anyone."  
  
"OK!" They turned to Ling. "If you swear not to tell anyone, then we'll let you go," Hwoarang said.  
  
"Deal. Just stay out of my room!"  
  
Hwoarang: Help! Somebody save me from being strangled by this turkey-bum! Help! Ling?  
  
  
  
Ling: No! You make me seem so childish in this story! And dumb! Now if you excuse me, I have to go read "Wearing blue undese for dummies"  
  
Hwoarang: Duh! Help! I can't breathe! Julia?  
  
Julia: No! You make me sound so idiotic! Plus I would never do that to Ling!  
  
Hwoarang: Could you help me Tiger?  
  
Tiger: No way, white boi! YOU try having pork bones shoved up your ass.  
  
Hwoarang: No! Eddy? Anna? Nina?  
  
Eddy, Anna & Nina: No! You make us have bosoms in your story! And fat ones, too!  
  
Hwoarang: Hwoarang? Jin? Heihachi?  
  
The real Hwoarang: Sorry, you make me have sex in your story, which I don't like. It just doesn't fit me.  
  
Jin: Sorry. I have to go turn into Devil and plunge Heihachi into a wall.  
  
Heihachi: I'm coming Jin!  
  
Hwoarang: Lee? Combot? Garnyru?  
  
Lee: Sorry, dude! I have to smoke my ciggies!  
  
Combot: I have to obey my master  
  
Garnyru: You revealed my secret about my fake bosoms!  
  
Forest Law: just let da readers get on wit da story!  
  
Hwoarang: Okay!  
  
Hwoarang: Help! Kazuya!  
  
Kazuya: Shut up ya rich bastard!  
  
Hwoarang: Wang?  
  
Wang: I'm too old too walk.  
  
Wang dies and has a heart attack. 


	3. Round 2: Ling vs Nina

Hwoarang: I'm running out of air! Gon? Kuma? Alex? Roger? Panda?  
  
All of the animals: GGGGGRRRRRRRRR! (translated= we can't talk)  
  
Hwoarang: Ogre? True Ogre? Bryan? Dr. Boskonovich? Dr.Abel? Devil?  
  
Those Guys: We look like hideous pieces of shit and are too embarrassed too come out.  
  
Hwoarang: Jack? Jack-2? P.Jack? Gun Jack?  
  
Jacks: We are not robots. We are microwaves. Oh shit. (in roboty tone slow voice)  
  
Jacks explode  
  
Mokujin, Mokujin's wife and Tetsujin: We can help if you want!  
  
Hwoarang: No way! You guys all look like absolute shit!  
  
Mokujin and the others all start to choke Hwoarang  
  
Kunimitsu: Am I ugly too?  
  
Hwoarang: Yes  
  
Yoshimitsu: Am I?  
  
Hwoarang: Yes  
  
Yoshi and Kuni along with everyone except the people who haven't been mentioned and Jin and Heihachi all attempt to strangle Hwoarang  
  
Bruce: I reckon this story sux.  
  
Jun: You said a bad word! Oh Jinny!  
  
Jin: Yes Mum?  
  
Jun: Can you please go kill Bruce for me?  
  
Jin: But Mum, Bruce is my friend!  
  
Jun: Just do it, or no more sponge baths for you!  
  
Jin: OK. But 1st I want to read the story.  
  
Bruce: Which sux  
  
*Jin grabs Yoshimitsu's sword and stabs Bruce to death.  
  
Now, on with the story! Chapter 3: Round 2- Ling Vs Nina  
  
  
  
Ling walked into the arena. "Hey, blue undese!" Nina smirked.  
  
"Shut up!" Ling said.  
  
"Still wearing the school uniform! Let's look unda da openable flap!" Tiger jeered.  
  
"Shoosh up, pork bum!" Tiger shut up at that.  
  
"ROUND 2! LING XIAOYU vs. NINA WILLIAMS. FIGHT!" Ling started off by parrying Nina over her shoulder.  
  
"OH, THAT'S IT! I'LL USE MY POWERFUL ATTACKS NOW!" Nina used her second most powerful attack, Blonde Bomb, but Xiaoyu back flipped out of the way and kicked Nina, bring torrents of pain between her eyes. "Power Charge!" Nina cried. She lifted her arms and her right leg into the air, illuminating sunbetian energy into Ling's body.  
  
"Ow!" Nearly all of Ling's energy was gone. She knew she only had one chance to use her most powerful unblockable move, the Thunder Strike. (back + square + triangle, square + triangle). She carefully sidestepped, gold aura appeared around her. She slammed down her hands into Nina's body. Ling finished her off with a strong sweep kick from her left foot. Nina's head bashed against the ground followed by the rest of her body.  
  
"GREAT! LING XIAOYU WINS!" Ling did her same handstand pose. All of the cameras flashed when she was halfway though it. TV cameras zoomed in. the audience laughed so hard that a couple spewed, coughed, fell out of their seats into the front row and even made milk pour out of their noses. Julia and Hwoarang came rushing in.  
  
"You won! Sorry we missed your fight! We had to.uh.forget it.why are the audience laughing?" Julia said.  
  
"I don't know why their laughing," Ling smirked, "but I do know I tricked them. They thought I was going to let them see my undese.well.I didn't wear any today! NYA!" Hwoarang burst out laughing.  
  
"Ling, Ling, Ling," Julia shook her head. "Some things never change."  
  
The End That is not the end. There is still a chapter 4 concerning Law and the others trying to strangle me. Only 4 people will survive. But WHO? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 


	4. Just some Tidbits

Chapter 4: Just some Tidbits Jin: That was neat! I wonder who wrote this story!  
  
Hwoarang (almost dead and in a really croaky voice) it was me!  
  
Jin: Oh! Sorry!  
  
Hwoarang: Turn into the Devil and kill them!  
  
Jin: Why don't you just type for them to stop? This is your story!  
  
Hwoarang: Cool! I never thought of that! Let me try it!  
  
Nina stops choking Hwoarang and gets her assassination gun and shoots a bullet into the real Hwoarang's head.  
  
The real Hwoarang: AAAAAAARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!  
  
Nina: Hey! Stop it! It isn't my fault! I'm sorry the real Hwoarang!  
  
Hwoarang: Yes! I am invincible!  
  
Steve: It's wrong to make people kill people not on their own free will!  
  
Hwoarang: But it's her job to kill people!  
  
Steve: I guess ya got a point there.  
  
King and Armour King: We are gay!  
  
Hwoarang: EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW! We hate gays! You're dead!  
  
Kunimitsu gets her dagger and slices through King and Armour King's chest  
  
Kunimitsu: That's not fair!  
  
Hwoarang: And as a favour to Jin for teaching me this I shall kill anybody you like.  
  
Jin: Umm. Please don't hurt Jun or Christie  
  
Hwoarang: Why not Christie?  
  
Jin: Because I like her.  
  
Christie: Wow like I like never like thought like you actually like did like!  
  
Alex comes and swallows Christie whole  
  
Jin: Hey! Why'd you do that! You said!  
  
Hwoarang: I thought she said like too much  
  
Jin: Well, now I know my Mum's probably not safe.  
  
Hwoarang: Hmmm.  
  
Jun: Oh, please no!  
  
Hwoarang: OK. By the way, you might wanna see this!  
  
A VCR suddenly appears and Hwoarang puts Tekken: The deleted Files into it. It shows Hwoarang and Julia in bed from the bit from the story.  
  
Michelle: Julia, how could you?  
  
Julia: But Mum, that was from the story!  
  
Michelle: Sure it was! Well, it might have been, since I came here late, but who cares!  
  
Paul: Julia, how could you? I thought you were my girlfriend!  
  
Julia: I am! He's just trying to.  
  
Gon comes and farts in Julia's face, killing her from the stench  
  
Julia: Oh yuck  
  
Gon: Grrr (HEY!)  
  
Hwoarang: That's not all  
  
Hwoarang types this and a TV remote suddenly appears. He presses fast forward and it shows Michelle's REAL Tekken 2 ending.  
  
Michelle looked down at her pendant that had bought her so much trouble. She still hadn't worked out what it was for. She looked at it closely again. It began to swirl vivid green. She reached out her arm and threw the pendant hard. "CCCCAAAARRR" said a bird which the pendant had hit, falling to it's death. "Whoops!" she said, giggling to herself as the bird and the pendant splashed into the water.  
  
Michelle: Hey! How'd you find that out?  
  
Hwoarang: Heihachi gave it to me.  
  
Michelle: I'll kill Heihachi for this!  
  
Jun: You killed a bird! And in MY nature park! I'm gonna kill you!  
  
Michelle: Oh Shit!  
  
Jun grabs Michelle and  
  
Jun: Um. Hwoarang. could you please create a cliff?  
  
Hwoarang: Sure!  
  
A cliff appears and Jun throws Michelle off it  
  
Michelle: Oh, poooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Garnyru: You destroyed my wife! I'll kill you!  
  
Jun: Help! Jin! Hwoarang!  
  
Hwoarang frantically scrabbles on his laptop the first thing that comes to his mind. Garnyru pops!  
  
POP!  
  
Jun: Woah! That was scary! Thanks!  
  
Nina: Oi, Hwoarang! If you like killing so much, we could become a team! I still have to assassinate Steve Fox though, which was my mission before Tekken 4.  
  
Nina grabs a knife and stabs Steve repeatedly  
  
Steve: NO!  
  
Hwoarang: Hey! You killed my friend Steve! I Don't like that!  
  
Nina's breasts get very large and eventually they burst and Nina gets a heart attack  
  
Faint Voice: That's sick!  
  
Hwoarang types this and let's himself have a bazooka  
  
Hwoarang: Okay, who's the owner of the Faint Voice?  
  
Faint Voice: I'm Unknown  
  
Hwoarang: Tell me your goddam name or I'll shoot  
  
Unknown: But that's my name I'm really Unknown  
  
Hwoarang: You have to the count of 3.  
  
Unknown: No! But  
  
Hwoarang: 1.  
  
Unknown: I really am  
  
Hwoarang: 2.  
  
Unknown: Unknown  
  
Hwoarang: 3!  
  
Hwoarang shoots the bazooka and Unknown falls out of her hiding place and dies.  
  
Hwoarang: Ok, Eddy and Tiger, dance for me.  
  
Eddy and Tiger: What if we don't wanna?  
  
Hwoarang shoots Tiger and he blows up  
  
Hwoarang: You were saying.  
  
Eddy tries to impress Hwoarang with his boring dance moves  
  
Hwoarang: Next!  
  
A bottomless pit opens and Eddy falls inside  
  
Eddy: IIIIIIII HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAATTTTTTEEEEEEEE YYYYYOOOOUUU!  
  
Hwoarang then shoots everyone except Jun, Jin, Heihachi & Lei  
  
Jin: Why'dja shoot Paul too?  
  
Hwoarang: His hair looked gay.  
  
Lei: I'm placing you under arrest  
  
Hwoarang shoots Lei square in the balls  
  
Lei: OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Baek: Sorry I'm late. I tried to do a crap but Law filled the whole place up with his and I almost drowned in it.  
  
Hwoarang: That's OK.  
  
Marshall Law: I just got off work. Did I just miss anything?  
  
Law looks around and sees all the dead bodies.  
  
Marshall Law: I guess I did.  
  
Heihachi: EEEEEERRRRRRR!  
  
Heihachi dies of a heart attack  
  
Jun: I knew that would happen someday.  
  
Jin: We 5 are the lone survivors.  
  
Hwoarang: Thanks you guys for not trying to strangle me.  
  
Jin, Jun, Marshall Law, Baek: That's ok.  
  
Craig: Hi!  
  
Hwoarang: Your too late baldy!  
  
Hwoarang shoots Craig  
  
Craig: But Baek and Law were late too.  
  
Craig dies  
  
The 2nd End! Hwoarang: Ok I'd like to thank me for coming up with this fic, all the Tekken characters for letting me do stuff with them, and all the readers who put up with all the crap they didn't like. I hope you enjoyed that story on Ling's underwear, plus the extra parts I put in featuring the other Tekken characters & myself. Please review this for me.  
  
Jun: I really liked that. If you want to email me, do it at jun12@hotmail.com  
  
Jin: I share the same email as my Mum  
  
Marshall Law: I don't have the internet, but I'm sure Jun will let you reply to me through her email if you contact it saying it's for me.  
  
Baek: I gotta go help Hwoarang write another fic.  
  
Jun: I really enjoyed it. Well, I have to go help the people backstage clean up the dead bodies. See ya!  
  
Marshall Law: I need to go potty!  
  
Marshall Law rushes off only to find Forest's crap land on top of him.  
  
Marshall Law: *.  
  
Baek: I think he's dead.  
  
Jun: OK, I've finished!  
  
Jin: Now, can you please give me a sponge bath mummy?  
  
Jun: Yes dear! Of course! A spongey wongey bathy wathy for Jinny!  
  
Jin: Yay!  
  
Jun: See you guys in Hwoarang's next fic! See ya!  
  
Jin & Jun go off to have a sponge bath.  
  
Baek: Hwoarang went back to write another fic. I'm gonna go help him now. Well, see ya!  
  
Baek leaves. 


End file.
